Leaving

Brian left this morning. Woke up at 0350 to help him carry his 6 peices to Shippies to await the Airporter bus. It's sad, even though this is one person I am almost certain I would meet again sonetime. Maybe not soon, but sure to meet.

Had his going away party two nights before. I cooked chicken curry. Something I never thought I would know how to do. So proud of myself :p

Studying hard for exam. Aay too much to cover. Typing notes until finger pain. No time to think about writing for the moment and inconvenient to upload since I have to go to uni for internet access. I wish I could before I get too lazy.

Cut Off

I'm feeling abit cut off from the world right now. There's no TV or internet in the house. We save money and don't buy the papers, much less any news magazines.

I can only access the internet maybe once a day when I go to uni or maybe not even then when there's no classes on and no reason to visit the uni. I read Google News, BBC News and CNA but I still get this feeling don't know what's happening in the world.

Is that a sign that I'm too worried about things I shouldn't worry about? That I'm a pointless info junkie??

Maria Island

Just came back from 3 days on Maria Island with Sam and Brian. It was brillant! I've never seen such concentration of wild fauna before. And they're all so tame. It's not unusual to be able to get within a metre or two of a pademelon. Strangely enough, the larger wallabies and red forester kangaroos tend to hop away before you can get really close to them. And the wombats will just go right up to your tent of they think they can find food in it.

Sam's father gave us a ride over to the island on his boat and it was an absolute treat, firstly cos of the chance to take a small boat across the channel to the island and secondly we saw bottleneck dophins along the way. Never was to close to wild dophins in my life.

Finally saw penguins in the wild. The smallest species of penguins. A guide took us to their landing site and watched a flcok come in at dusk. Went back to the same spot the next night and follow a penguin all the way up the hill to it's nest. Very unique experience.

Brillant trip, well worth the fifty-odd bucks I spend on it.

Lonely

Everybody's gone from this big lonely house. I don't enjoy being alone anymore. I can't stand being alone anymore. I want someone to talk to. I hope this is just a bout. I don't wanna to be depressed again. I should have outgrown that stage by now. I hope. I want to hope.

I shouldn't want.

I Should Write Something...

I should write something but I don't know what. I don't want to even think about her much less write.

I'm bored. I think I'll be able to finish writing my Strategic Management assignment tomorrow, then I can spend the weekend cutting it down to the required number of words. I wish the next block of lectures can start sonner. Another two weeks. I'm bored.

I just donno wat to write about. Maybe happy new year.

Changes

After spending a week with HER in MEL, the one thing I know now is that we both have changed. Not to say for better or for worse but changed. I'm certainly not quite the littleblueboy that arrived in HBA in February. And she is not quite the same her that I first knew more than 6 years ago.

Yes, there's a veneer of the old her there, but under that I don't doubt that she's changed. She doesn't yak at me the way that she always had. There are long periods of awkward silence. I think I'm not in love anymore.

As I was leaving her apartment, she asked if I has left anything behind. I said no, but in reality, I left a bottle of Boag's Premium Light in the fridge and, I think, a fair bit of my heart around somewhere.

SHE brought me to the beaches today. Walking along Brighton and St Kilda beaches, it struck me that MEL wasn't quite as nice as Hobart. I still like Hobart. It's less litter, less graffiti in Hobart and I think the people are friendlier. My dislike for big cities continues.

Of Friends

Sitting in Hobart International Airport, flight JQ62 to MEL is delayed. Departure now 9pm instead of 8:40. Well, expected. Cheap and it'll get you there but it'll take some time.

I'm nervous about going to MEL. OK, nervous about meeting HER and staying with her for a week. I don't know what, if anything, will happen. But I'm still hoping something will happen. Wishful thinking most likely but it still doesn't stop me from thinking.

Had dinner with Ee Wah last night. She's one of those people who's really an accidental friend. I know her only becasue she sat at my table in Colin Jones class las sem and so we got to be in the same group for that unit. That was such a good group.

It's all so chancy. I came here not wanting or looking to make any real friends; just intended to go through the motions. But to come so far and to meet such likeable people that, if it was home would be the very best of friends...

Ee Wah's boyfriend called while I was walking her home and asked to say hello to me. So he asked when I was completing my course, if I'm staying in HOB after that, etc. Is that a "stay away from her' warning or wat? Donno. Weird.

Living in a shared house for just over a week now. It's more work. Doing your own shopping, your own cooking and cleaning and washing and drying and paying of bills, basically everything that college takes care of.

I guess I could say that I'm enjoying it so far. Nice housemates.


I'm tired. I wanna go home. I don't want my degree anymore. I just wanna go home.

Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

I Find

I finally can find the words to describe the effect that SHE has on me. She enchants me. I am enchanted by her. Yes, that's it. It's probably not delibrate on her part but here I am. Enchanted. Was enchanted. Still enchanted.

Maybe it's love; maybe not. Maybe it's just enchantment.

Leaving

I'm leaving in about 5 hours time. I'm nervous. I don't know why. Maybe it's the thought of living alone. I shouldn't be. It's not like I'm departing for the unknown this time. But I still don't know why I'm nervous.

Batam, A Return To

Spending my last week "in Singapore" at Batam. Some things change and some things stay the same.

ICA changed the layout if immigration at Habourfront. Batam Centre's immigration has not changed. It even looks as if the same people are manning the

Biggest change, and a minor shock to me, was that there's no more gambling in Batam; no more casinos, no more jackpot halls and no more even the popular "bolla" ping-pong balls. According to hengky, it was stopped even before I left for Hobart, before this year's Chinese New Year.

The social impact of gambling facilities, I think, was minimal as the clientele was almost exclusively Singaporean/Malaysians. Say what you want about vice, but gambling must have provided hundreds if not thousands of jobs in Batam. It's not a nice job but it's something you can feed your children on.

I wonder how many of the bolla girls have turned to positution instead.

Leaving on Sunday afternoon, I cannot help but think that the cessation of casinos, in the sense of social impact, helps Singapore and Singaporeans more than it helps Batam.