Changes

After spending a week with HER in MEL, the one thing I know now is that we both have changed. Not to say for better or for worse but changed. I'm certainly not quite the littleblueboy that arrived in HBA in February. And she is not quite the same her that I first knew more than 6 years ago.

Yes, there's a veneer of the old her there, but under that I don't doubt that she's changed. She doesn't yak at me the way that she always had. There are long periods of awkward silence. I think I'm not in love anymore.

As I was leaving her apartment, she asked if I has left anything behind. I said no, but in reality, I left a bottle of Boag's Premium Light in the fridge and, I think, a fair bit of my heart around somewhere.

SHE brought me to the beaches today. Walking along Brighton and St Kilda beaches, it struck me that MEL wasn't quite as nice as Hobart. I still like Hobart. It's less litter, less graffiti in Hobart and I think the people are friendlier. My dislike for big cities continues.

Of Friends

Sitting in Hobart International Airport, flight JQ62 to MEL is delayed. Departure now 9pm instead of 8:40. Well, expected. Cheap and it'll get you there but it'll take some time.

I'm nervous about going to MEL. OK, nervous about meeting HER and staying with her for a week. I don't know what, if anything, will happen. But I'm still hoping something will happen. Wishful thinking most likely but it still doesn't stop me from thinking.

Had dinner with Ee Wah last night. She's one of those people who's really an accidental friend. I know her only becasue she sat at my table in Colin Jones class las sem and so we got to be in the same group for that unit. That was such a good group.

It's all so chancy. I came here not wanting or looking to make any real friends; just intended to go through the motions. But to come so far and to meet such likeable people that, if it was home would be the very best of friends...

Ee Wah's boyfriend called while I was walking her home and asked to say hello to me. So he asked when I was completing my course, if I'm staying in HOB after that, etc. Is that a "stay away from her' warning or wat? Donno. Weird.

Living in a shared house for just over a week now. It's more work. Doing your own shopping, your own cooking and cleaning and washing and drying and paying of bills, basically everything that college takes care of.

I guess I could say that I'm enjoying it so far. Nice housemates.


I'm tired. I wanna go home. I don't want my degree anymore. I just wanna go home.

Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

I Find

I finally can find the words to describe the effect that SHE has on me. She enchants me. I am enchanted by her. Yes, that's it. It's probably not delibrate on her part but here I am. Enchanted. Was enchanted. Still enchanted.

Maybe it's love; maybe not. Maybe it's just enchantment.

Leaving

I'm leaving in about 5 hours time. I'm nervous. I don't know why. Maybe it's the thought of living alone. I shouldn't be. It's not like I'm departing for the unknown this time. But I still don't know why I'm nervous.

Batam, A Return To

Spending my last week "in Singapore" at Batam. Some things change and some things stay the same.

ICA changed the layout if immigration at Habourfront. Batam Centre's immigration has not changed. It even looks as if the same people are manning the

Biggest change, and a minor shock to me, was that there's no more gambling in Batam; no more casinos, no more jackpot halls and no more even the popular "bolla" ping-pong balls. According to hengky, it was stopped even before I left for Hobart, before this year's Chinese New Year.

The social impact of gambling facilities, I think, was minimal as the clientele was almost exclusively Singaporean/Malaysians. Say what you want about vice, but gambling must have provided hundreds if not thousands of jobs in Batam. It's not a nice job but it's something you can feed your children on.

I wonder how many of the bolla girls have turned to positution instead.

Leaving on Sunday afternoon, I cannot help but think that the cessation of casinos, in the sense of social impact, helps Singapore and Singaporeans more than it helps Batam.